Jul 21 2008
Did I Raise My Glass The Wrong Way?
Before you go on to read this wonderful piece of work I have put together you should know that this entry is catered to people who are attending the wedding rather than hosting it. Just in case you didn’t figure that out, but I’m sure you did.
Writing a toast for a wedding can prove to be a difficult thing. You want to say something meaningful but words just don’t seem to fit. You want to congratulate them, not in a mocking way, but sincerely. However at the same time don’t want it to be the boring-run-of-the-mill “I wish you eternal happiness” speech. There is a way to achieve this perfect toast and there are a few key factors to keep in mind that will help you on your way to creating it for the happy couple:
1) Avoid inside jokes - You might think it’s hilarious but unless this happened at that wedding in clear view of all the guests and it’s sure that everybody will completely understand what you are getting at, don’t go there. It’s extremely awkward for the people not in the loop and they will lose interest in your speech when you and the only other person who gets it are rolling on the floor with laughter.
2) Avoid any attacks at people other than the bride or groom. Although they may be just for fun and laughter, you probably don’t want to make a comment about the bride’s mother. If you’re going to poke fun at somebody, make it the person who’s getting married that you know best; they’ll know that you mean well. And if you do choose to give them a little roast instead of a toast, make sure to laugh when you do it. Not, of course, in a Joker/Heath Ledger-I’m-insane-and-take-pleasure-in-your-pain kind of laugh, but a light chuckle to let them know that you’re joking and that you truly love them.
3) Try opting for a poem or something interesting that makes people want to listen. From personal experience, a poem is a great way to make a speech fun while saying the things you want to express. And try making the poem rhyme, it might take a little longer but it sounds very clever and entertaining when it comes time to present it.
4) Remember that this speech is about them (The newlyweds) and not you. Although you could ramble on about how happy you are for them (Which is lovely don’t get me wrong), remember to talk about how happy they are going to make each other. You yourself will know how joyous you are but the more you express it, the more insincere it sounds. It’s a shame that it happens, but it’s a harsh reality the toast-givers of the world have to live with. So don’t forget to relate everything back to them rather than how you are feeling. People (Especially those who don’t know you) will want to hear about the bride or groom that invited them, not about you.
5) Cater the speech to the couple. The last thing you want is for it to sound like a generic one you came up with that could apply to any wedding you attend. Add in little details that you know the couple will enjoy and remember. You want your toast to actually be words of celebration, not just an obligatory thing that must be done. Commemorate with and for them.
6) Pull inspiration from other toasts. When you go to a wedding you are not speaking at, pay specific attention to the things that make a great speech. The audience will shift according to how they are enjoying the speech. Look up toasts or think of ones that really meant something to you at your wedding. I’m not saying plagiarize (I’m sure my high school teacher’s would hunt me down and throttle me if I did encourage that) but figure out what makes a great speech and draw from that. Sometimes it’s easy to have a base to start on rather than just a blank piece of paper.
Toasts and speeches can really communicate how happy you are for the bride and groom. Bear my tips in mind and you’ll hopefully have an easier time with the writing of yours. But worst comes to worst, we all know that a picture is worth a thousand words so if need be, all you got to do is smile. Good luck and happy writing!
